The Adventure of Motherhood

Today I am struck by the complexity of motherhood. A few weeks ago I became a homeschool mom, along with many of you and some of you who were doing this already. A huge part of me is loving spending so much time with my children, snuggling them in the mid-morning instead of missing them while they are at school. Making them snacks and playing outside, being creative and adventurous together. There are so many beautiful gifts during this unique time of life. But on the other hand, there are the deep complexities that come with not only being your child's mother but also his or her teacher and some of you are also an employee and trying to juggle all of your roles. Within a matter of hours or minutes during what seemed like was going to be a great day, you and your children are in tears because the day has gone so wrong already. Somedays are just not easy.

Yesterday, as I was relaxing by our fire pit and enjoying some rare 70 degree weather in April, my youngest came to me in tears, "They ganged up on me. They slammed my face in the tile and punched me and..." honestly it seemed like he was reporting some sort of MMA fighting match. No, this wasn't rare and I believed about half of it, but this was just a normal day in the life of being a boy mom. I tried to comfort him and also realize that this was only half the story. His brothers came out of the house and within minutes they were playing again, just like that. This is how I spend most of my time, mostly refereeing fights and arguments. We are raising strong children, opinionated children and I hope, empathetic children. But teaching our kids not to be self-centered and to think of others when they can't physically and emotionally do this because their brains are still developing, requires a lot of grit and patience and love.

Sometimes I feel like being a mother is not enough. Am I really doing everything I can to fulfill my potential in this life? My professional life has taken a backseat while I am a full-time mom and I feel like whenever I just start going on my career something happens and I decide to sacrifice it in lieu of staying at home with our kids. Am I wrong to be doing this? Am I not standing up for myself and not advocating for women's rights enough; am I just doing what is best for others and not for myself? Lately I have felt like getting my master's degree was for nothing, I am not even using it right now and I am not pursuing counseling at all. It can all feel like it was a waste of time. But, here's the thing, I really believe that for me, and this is not to judge you at all, but for me, being a mother is the most important job I have ever had. I am not sure if I will go back to work in a part-time or full-time capacity. I hope that I will someday, but our kids are 10, 9 and 7 and I am savoring the minutes, months and years that I have with them. I will never regret the time that we are spending together right now, but I might regret going to work too soon. That's just me, but it brings me comfort to know that I am doing the important work.

I saw something in the scriptures that I haven't noticed before. Today is Good Friday and I was reading the account of Jesus' crucifixion in the Gospel of John. John 19:26 says, "When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, "Dear woman, here is your son". And he said to his disciple, "Here is your mother". And from then on this disciple took her into his home (NLT). I had never noticed that Jesus took care of his mother and made provisions for her while he was hanging on a cross and about to die. He loved his mother that much and he was a good Son! Even though he was the Son of the Living God, he still made sure his earthly mother was taken care of. That really struck me, and it made me realize that Jesus, my Savior, loved his mother and somehow it showed me how much he values motherhood. I am doing important work in being a mother and even the God of the Universe recognizes that!

I hope you are encouraged today wherever you are at with your journey, whether you are a mother or not, whether you are at home with your kids or away at work. He is in it all and he is using us as mothers to shape our children into the amazing image bearers that they are. Blessings to you!