18 states in 30 days!

We have made it across the country, staying outside of Portland, Maine. It took us about one month to drive across, with the biggest stint being nine days in a row of driving and staying for one night at each place. We decided when we were at Glacier National Park in Montana that we could drive 200 miles a day and make it to Maine in two weeks. We decided to take the plunge, knowing that it was a crazy idea, and probably a bad idea too but we also wanted to spend more time on the east coast than the midwest. 

I would say that now looking back on it, it has taken its toll on us. We are pretty tired and both my husband and I feel old and sore. I don't think our bodies were made for sitting hours a day or driving our rig for hours a day. Our kids have done pretty well but we have also been experiencing some pretty intense behaviors from them as well. Several times I have wanted to throw in the towel and just finish our trip in December. I would say that about 25% of the time we feel this way and we have our really bad days. About every other day is one of those bad days and once a week we just want to give up. Between our kid's behavior, adding homeschooling/roadschooling to our already hectic lifestyle, and driving for weeks straight, we are pretty exhausted. My husband and I are used to having a break from our kids, to sending them to school in September, to having regular date nights and spending time with friends and family. We are not used to being together, just the five of us, 100% of the time. All of us have pretty much had it with family time. But why is it that these are the times that make for the most memorable experiences? Why are these the times we look back on and are so thankful for? I feel conflicted because even though this is the hardest experience I have ever had and it is taking a toll on all of us physically and emotionally, why do we also experience the most fulness and joy together as well? I've described this trip as the highest highs and the lowest lows. It's true, we have these epic experiences that would have taken us ten years of going on vacation a few times a year to accomplish, but the cost has been exceedingly great. It feels like saying yes to adventure and to traveling has cost us stability, comfort and at times our sanity. 

I'm also wondering if this year is just going to be hard anyways. I know that it would have been hard back home, even if we had stayed put. School would have been frustrating and different and complicated, the stress would have increased as well. There are a lot of things that we are getting to do now that we would not have been able to do. Honestly, traveling is a luxury right now and I need to remember that. Oh Lord, please help me to be a content person. I'm finding myself right back where I started. I have been thinking about that old adage, "Wherever you go, there you are." It feels true. We are still the people we are no matter how much we travel or how much we pursue our dreams. I think there is a part of me that believes that I will feel different once I have arrived somewhere else. But, I feel worse, I feel displaced, I feel frustrated, I feel sad, I feel hopeless. Most of this has to do with where we are at in parenting, but it is also a reality of life. Life is hard, and I can't escape that. Sometimes things happen that we do not prepare for. Sometimes even though we want desperately to end up on a mountain top, we end up in a valley. That's where I am at right now. I wanted to have an amazing experience this year living out our dreams but what I am faced with is the reality that this is hard, parenting is a tremendous challenge, and we are taking on new challenges that are forcing us to exert even more strength and energy. It is not restful and it is not refreshing like I had hoped. There are moments that are good, but those are rare. But it is life and it is full and it is good. I want to cling to the good moments and I want to lift my eyes to Jesus, my only source of true joy and true hope. I'm sorry Lord for putting my hope in anything but you. You are the only one who fulfills me. Please help me, strengthen my very feeble knees and my weak body, please strengthen my spirit, give me hope and give me joy. Show me that you are here in the midst of these difficulties. I put my hope in you.

Here we are at the Atlantic Ocean for the first time in Acadia National Park. What a beautiful park!